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The Kojumi Project

Journal 1

Current Feelings on Internet Assholes
(October 7, 2008)

Current Feelings on Internet Assholes
There’s so much bullshit going on now. I’m just going to put it up all in one big ass journal and make it nice and sectioned off for you so its not confusing.

deviantART User MechaBuu – Okay. So this dude is like a total dork with nothing better to do then stalk me and my friend Z. We’ve tried to just ignore him and move on with our lives, but the bitch STALKED us! He came over here to Gaia leaving such harsh comments such as “Welcome to Gaia, you fucking bitch. =D Hope you enjoy being a Gaiafag with you lesbo buddy.” Then the dude tells me that if I don’t like his comments I should just delete them. Delete the evidence that he’s a complete asshole? I think not. And it’s not enough that he followed us here, he felt the need to go to all of the people on my friend’s lists’ pages (mostly people I know from school) and tell them about me being banned from deviantART. They’re my friends…THEY KNOW ALREADY YOU PATHETIC JACKASS!

Oh, and on my guestbook for a small site I made (Kojumi, scroll down to the bottom and select ‘View guestbook,’ comments will possibly later be deleted for such mindless rudeness) where you, Mecha, told me my art sucks…FYI, you’re worse then me when I was TEN! Then it’s so pathetic how you posed as Aries on my GB. Then how you posed as dA user kpdiva15. 1. She doesn’t have a link to my site, but you’ve already mentioned that you’ve been there. 2. She seems like she’d NEVER tell someone they sucked no matter how bad they really are. It’s sad you deny writing any of it. You seemed so proud of the comments you left on my Gaia page. Oh, and another thing. What kind of straight dude is so rude to two chicks who LIKE each other?? Either you’re just trying to hurt us or, buddy, you’re take-it-up-the-ass gay.

And more about your little comments on my GB…Apparently Mecha thinks that if there’s a white person of any type anywhere near a black person or if a white person is in love with a black person, they’re automatically a wigger. So logical. Goth people…Be careful! According to a guy who thinks everything he says and does is right, get too close to a black person and you’ll be labeled a wigger!!
Then apparently Mecha thinks that if a white person likes black people he is obliged to call them a “nigger lover” as if it’s a bad thing. Do you know how racist that is? I’m so glad I have Mecha here to tell me that black people all have a problem with white people who like them. Thank you Mecha. Cause it seems like all of my black friends were too busy hiding their hatred for my like of them behind their fake kindness to tell me they have a problem with whites who like blacks. Now I’ll know that next time a black guy flirts with me, he’s really telling me how much he hates me and my guts for not hating blacks. What bull. Grow up you racist son of a bitch.

deviantART User Sweet-As-Spice – When Mecha didn’t leave us alone, Spice, it made me realize you aren’t the biggest fucktard in the world. Made me rather wanna be in a beef with you then him because at least you have some manners and a life. He just annoys the crap out of us. Then I saw how you found it funny I was banned from deviantART for soft-core cybersex. WTF?? I’m just pretty much going to elaborate on and repeat what my friend Aries said in his dA journal. [Journal] So the fact that I expressed my strong feelings for someone in an inexplicit sexual cyber manner amuses you?? I won’t even be able to hug her for over six more months and I’ve been dying from my emotions for her because by that time I wouldn’t have even seen her for over a god damn year. I won’t even be able to hug her for Christmas. Is that funny to you? What kind of heartless little fuck are you?? I can’t even hug the person I want most in the world and you’re over wherever the hell you are laughing over it. All because of a tiny feud? You always told me how childish I was. (even when you went right around and did the exact same things I did you hypocritical fuck) Well, take a moment to reflect upon how childish your ass is. So you can laugh openly when I’m banned, but, what, would you be too afraid to laugh if I wasn’t or something? You’re one of the reasons I DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT BEING BANNED FROM DA SO STOP ACTING LIKE IT’S REALLY HURTING ME!! I don’t even care. You laugh because my feelings for another person were so strong and hurt so bad I had to find some way to express myself to her. I bet you’d laugh if Z died and I went into depression and became suicidal. What kind of person are you you little shit? I used to think you weren’t as bad as I had originally thought. But can you portray ANY human emotions?? God damnit…I hope you fall in love, we go into a world war, your lover gets drafted, and YOU lose HIM for over a year. Will it be as funny then? I’m so glad you’ll be more amused then sad, you cold fuck.

deviantART – In case you people who think I cate I'm no longer a part of deviantART missed it, I DON'T CARE ABOUT DA, YOU MORNOS!!! Kindly kiss off and d**

<3 Courtney <3 I love someone. I’m not in love, but I love her very much. So much it hurts and makes me happy at the same time. I’m pretty much already your bitch and you don’t have to worry about me moving on to someone before you can come be with me because I’d wait another year for you if I had to. We’ve already talked before about how the smallest things mean the world. You make me cry. Kinda often. But that’s okay. I always get over it and I’ll never hold that against you. I can be pretty harsh after one of those bad moments, but I’m working on it because I don’t want you to feel worse then you already will about something we won’t remember too well a few weeks later. Even when we don’t talk for whatever reason, bad or inevitable, I still think about you. It’s actually very hard to catch myself in a moment where I don’t think about you.

You fear you’re the reason we’ll stop talking. But I don’t think it’ll be you. I can love someone but you already know I’ve never been in a relationship, been on a date, or even had a first kiss. I won’t know how to be with you and I hope you’ll be patient and work with me. Cause you already heard about that one girl I tried to get with months ago. She was fed up that I didn’t know how to be a “girlfriend” and told me to get a boyfriend then get back with her when I had learned a few things. I don’t want you to get fed up with me…That’d break my heart. She thought a relationship was public and private displays of affection…I wasn’t ready for that being as I wanted to save my first kiss for a special time. I don’t know why…but if you kissed me right off the bat I wouldn’t mind at all. I didn’t love her…You’re so different.

You say you’re not girlfriend material, but if I’ve had no experience with that kind of thing then how the hell am I going to be able to compare you to anything else? You’ll be fine…And if we have problems we’ll do what we’ve been doing so far: stop talking for a few hours, cry like emo bitches, come back together, and tell each other how much we care about each other and talk about the issue. Something’s wrong, we work on it. You have a permanent flaw, I’ll get over it. Because I have flaws, too.

And I’ve been thinking of how self conscious I am about my body…I’ll love everything about you. You don’t like your small size too much, but I think you’ll be so damn cute and just want to hug you all the time. Then about how you look…and how people claim you look…You do NOT look like a twelve year old. Whoever tells you that apparently has something wrong with them cause you look like you’re in your middle teens.

Then you worry if my friends will like you or not…Fuck them. I don’t care what they say.

And you shouldn’t say stupid things like how I’m “too good for you.” Maybe I feel like I’m not good enough for you. Why can’t we be equally good? That would work best. I’m not too good for you. And even if I am, does it look like I care? I want you and only you and you’ll just have to deal with that. Claim me if you want when you want all you want. Cause I claim you. Automatically.

These next six months will feel like forever, but I’ll wait for you as long as I need to. No worries, right?

Damn straight.

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